On Weaning

No more bottles.  No more pump parts or pump bags.  No more hiding in my classroom for thirty minutes three times a day to pump my milk.  No more nursing.

It's been many weeks since I last nursed Colleen.  It all went by so fast.  I felt like I thought about the weaning process longer than it actually took.  I don't miss washing bottles or pump parts and I really don't miss pumping.

But, I do miss nursing.  It didn't require much.  Just Colleen and myself and perhaps a quiet space.  It was time for her and I to be together.  Something that I could do for her.  And it seems so bizarre now.  How much of a part of my life it was-an entire year.  But now I'm done and it doesn't seem like it was that long.  When I was nursing and pumping, I often thought about all the "extra" time I would have once Colleen was weaned.  And while I notice that I don't have a pile of bottles that must be washed when I come home from school, I don't feel like I've gained a lot of time back.  My planning at school still feels short and nighttime routine now requires a nightly bath and brushing teeth instead of nursing.  I kind of surprises me how nursing so quietly became a part of my life and then how quietly it slipped away like it had not happened at all.

But, I'm glad I did it.  I know that nursing isn't for everyone-like cloth diapers or having an epidural.  I am lucky to have supportive friends and family that encouraged me to stick with it in the beginning when I was struggling.  So for that, thank you.  And I hope that I find, in the years to come, more things that I can do for Colleen, just her and I.