On Nursing

I thought it was going to be easy.

I spent so much time worrying about going through labor that I forgot to worry about breastfeeding.  Everything I read made it seem so easy.  Here are four different positions for nursing.  Here is how you get your baby to latch on.  This is how long they should feed on both sides.  Easy, right?

Wrong.

Well, maybe for some people.  But it hasn't been for me.  When Colleen was born, she was 10 lbs 15 oz.  When she left the hospital, she had already lost about 10% of her weight.  Since my milk hadn't come in, we were supplementing with formula by feeding a tube through her mouth while feeding.  By the time she had her first doctor's appointment, she still wasn't gaining weight at a significant rate and we were supposed to up the amount of formula to supplement.  I thought everything would work itself out once my milk came in.

Then, my milk came in.  And still, Colleen and I struggled to get into a rhythm.  I didn't know what I was doing.  She didn't know what she was doing.  So, Tom and I went to see a lactation consultant at the hospital.  She was awesome.  Basically she re-taught me how to nurse and things seemed to improve.

At Colleen's next appointment, she was still gaining weight, but a little more slowly.  That night, we had several rough feedings in a row.  Colleen wouldn't eat, but seemed hungry.  So, we went to the lactation consultant again who, within two minutes, thought Colleen might have oral thrush which is why she seemed so uncomfortable while she was trying to feed.

So, a trip to the pediatrician and pharmacy later, we got medicine for both Colleen and myself.  So now, I'm thinking everything will work itself out once the thrush is gone, right?

I hope so.  I really want to be able to nurse Colleen because I know it's good for her and for me.  Mainly because at this point, I want to be able to say I can do it.  I know how hard it has been for my sister to have to pump her milk and feed it to her twin boys.  And how many bottles she and Andy wash every day.  I know how expensive formula can be.   But I also don't want to spend the next year of my life (and Colleen's) constantly worried about it.  It has been four weeks since Colleen was born and I feel like there is still no consistency.

Hopefully, we just need more time to find our groove.